Guardians

Sarik Andreasyan’s Защитники (Zashchitniki), or Guardians, is a 2017 Russian superhero movie about a group of superhuman individuals, the remnants of a Soviet genetics program, who are called upon by the secret organization Patriot to avert the plans of a mad scientist. As a fan of superheroes in general, I was interested in seeing this film in the cinema, to see how Russian cinema would handle an original Russian superhero team, but never got the chance due to a lack of screenings in the UK. The film received highly negative critical feedback in Russia and while it debuted at the top of the Russian box office it quickly bombed thereafter, with many considering it to be one of the worst films ever made.
 
The movie stars Sebastien Sisak as Ler, who can manipulate earth, Sanjar Madi as Khan, who can apparently move “close to velocity of light” (according to the opening credits) while wielding two enormous crescent-shaped sickle-blades, Anton Pampushnyy as Arsus, who can transform into a bear either partially or fully, Alina Lanina as Ksenia, who can turn invisible, and Valeriya Shkirando as Major Elena Larina, assigned head of Patriot. All the super-powered characters in the story also have an ability where their aging has been slowed to a halt.
 
Before I get to the movie itself, I want to mention some aspects of the press kit. The tagline for this movie is “A squad of Soviet superheroes”, which doesn’t really inspire much confidence, does it? Besides, as far as I can tell, if ever these characters had any allegiance to the USSR back in the Cold War, there’s no indication that they’ve held to this allegiance since, so the tagline is both uncomfortable and misleading. The blurb on the back of the DVD box gives a detailed description into the alternative history and origins of the Guardians, but this information is barely referenced in the movie itself.
 
The film starts with just over a minute of studio logos. After that, the film opens with a military weapons test packed with exposition involving these three-legged robots that are never named in the entire movie. The villain, August Kuratov (Stanislav Shirin), takes control of the robots, some things blow up, and the movie goes straight into more exposition where it’s just one guy talking for two minutes and forty-two seconds. It’s possibly the most on-the-nose exposition I’ve ever seen in a movie.
 
Forty years ago, Kuratov stole the research to the genetic research used to make the Guardians. When the Russian military tracked him down, he detonated his own laboratory and the chemicals therein gave him superhuman strength along with the Guardians’ longevity. Kuratov has invented something called “Module-1”, which also allows him to control motorised vehicles wirelessly. Now, with anti-realist fiction like this, a degree of suspension of disbelief is required. For example, in Marvel Comics, long before it was revealed that the X-Men’s mutations were the result of godlike alien experiments, audiences were willing to accept that their powers were simply the result of natural evolution. If you can suspend your disbelief that far, even knowing that’s not how evolution works, you could accept that 20^th Century genetic experiments could bestow powers onto human beings. I still question how Khan can run near light speed without causing a nuclear reaction or even breaking the sound barrier, but what really bothers me is Kuratov. The work needed to create the Guardians must have been grueling, so for this guy to just blow himself up and get a physique that can outpace the Guardians without any danger of physical, chemical or biological instability is a stretch. And then there’s his Module-1. How did he get that thing plugged into the back of his head? Who did the surgery to make his brain compatible with electronics? Was it one of his clones? (Oh yeah, he built a clone army of himself.) The clones never display any intelligence beyond having a gun and a pair of legs. The device itself is kind of fascinating. There’s no allusion to how it works other than the image of him zapping whatever vehicle he wants and taking instant control of it. This includes the unnamed three-legged robots. Does Module-1 use radio waves? Even if that were so, how does Kuratov get by the defensive software that these robots should surely have? Even more impressive is when he takes over simple things like trucks and forklifts. Based on what we see, he can actually manipulate electrical fields with such precision (and while barely paying attention) that he can physically move the mechanisms in the vehicles. These powers have massive implications: telekinesis, electrical manipulation (including ionised electrical blasts), magnetism manipulation… The potential applications of a device like this are extraordinary. Technology manipulation alone is a versatile ability, but it’s disappointing that the filmmakers didn’t take it further with what this device is capable of.
 
Getting back to the story, Larina goes out into the world looking for the Guardians, and one by one they are introduced into the team. When we meet Ler, he’s established as a Christian hermit who’s left behind the conflicts of his past, but when he hears that Kuratov is still alive he immediately joins the mission. No sooner are Khan and Arsus introduced (through nothing more than a display of their superpowers) than they are recruited and the film moves onto the next scene. Ksenia is the only one to have anything remotely interesting to do with her character at that point – she has amnesia, she’s tired of running and she wants to know more about her past. The team is immediately sent on a mission together, and this is a huge problem because the audience knows nothing about these characters – neither who they are nor what their team synergy is like. We have ONE LINE of banter between Ler and Khan, and the implication that Ksenia and Arsus were in a relationship once, and that’s it. Ler’s faith is never referenced again. Ksenia’s amnesia has barely any influence on the plot or character interactions until the very end of the film.
 
So these people have lived for forty years moving from place to place, hiding their identities and trying to stay off the grid. Yet as soon as they’re sent on a very dangerous mission, they split up stand around (or move slowly) in the open – no attempt at a stealthy approach – and of course they all end up getting captured. Even Ksenia, who mentions she has the power to control her own body temperature, is clearly visible to the armed guards wearing thermographic goggles! Khan gets hit with a tranquiliser dart despite him being able to move at near light speed, Arsus gets caught in a net, and Ler is overpowered by Kuratov. It’s almost like they had no strategy! I expect more from the Russian military!
 
So Arsus, Khan and Ksenia are in a cell together, and for some reason Arsus still has his knives with him! Did they not get searched when they were captured? I thought the villain was some kind of super-genius! Kuratov, in one of the most clichéd moves ever, offers the heroes a chance to join him. He gives them 24 hours to decide, but after he sets off to enact the rest of his plans, the three of them are still in their cell where Larina rescues them! Let me reiterate: in another of the most clichéd moves that a supervillain can make, he leave the heroes alive, giving them the chance to escape and cause problems for him later!
 
So you may be wondering, if Arsus, Khan and Ksenia are all together in a cell, what has Kurotov done with Ler? Are you ready for this? Are you sitting down? Okay… HE LEFT HIM LYING ON THE GROUND! This is such a shock to my system. The guy can create clones, force fields and electromagnetic technology manipulation, and yet he has just enough sense to imprison only three of the four people who could get in his way, and he just leaves the fourth lying around! And hell, the prison is made of metal, where no earthbending is possible, and Kuratov leaves Ler in a pile of rocks – you know, rocks, which Ler uses to beat people up! What if Ler came to? Even if you disabled him, he still has his powers! Apparently Kuratov thinks Ler can split the planet apart if he wanted. If you believe that, why wouldn’t you just kill him? Why is the evil genius such an idiot?!
 
Oh, and Larina is wearing a formal suit while she’s on a raid. Dumb.
 
In a following scene, Arsus opens up to Larina, saying that his transformations are becoming more difficult. He feels himself becoming more and more like an animal even as he returns to human form, and he’s afraid of becoming permanently stuck in Bear Mode. Despite saying this, he never acts very animalistic at all. When he’s in human form he’s generally got this collected demeanor and posture. It would have been better for the actor and filmmakers to actually show Arsus behaving somewhat like an animal outside of his bear form. Show, don’t tell. Write and portray his behavior to indicate what his issues are. Later, Khan tells a story about his brother, and I realise we’re nearly an hour into the movie and it’s only now we’re learning anything about this character, and it’s just him dolling out exposition.
 
While Kuratov is taking over the city, relocating and repurposing massive buildings for his plans, the Guardians are presented with special suits that will enhance their abilities. Khan and Ksenia master theirs immediately, Ksenia now also being able to make anything she touches invisible, Ler gets a whip made of rocks that’s held together with electromagnetism, and Arsus gets a minigun. During the training montage, Ksenia takes on several sparring partners simultaneously. What bothers me is that her opponents aren’t wearing thermographic goggles, which I find defeats the purpose because the enemy wearing those goggles got her busted earlier in the film! What’s even more bothersome is that the Guardians didn’t get these uniforms earlier in the film. Those “cyber scientists” have had forty years to make these suits, plus all the research on the Guardians to understand how their powers work and apply that knowledge to these suits. There is no reason why this so-called team should have been sent out without a strategy or the proper equipment! And yeah, this training montage is the first time we get a glimpse of how these people work as a team. It’s bloody pitiful.
 
During the next briefing, which finally shows some strategic brainstorming from this government-led team, they note that the minions they’ve been fighting this whole time are Kuratov’s clones. It’s not presented as a revelation or anything like that – it’s just mentioned in passing. This is the first time that Kuratov’s minions are identified as clones. It’s like there are pieces of this film missing. Imagine if in The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (Peter Jackson, 2001) we saw Saruman’s underground lair in Isengard but we never saw the Uruk-hai being spawned or outfitted or that interaction between Saruman and Lurtz. We would have no indication that the Uruk-hai were created, that they weren’t in fact Orcs, or that they were supposed to be a bigger threat than Orcs. That’s this movie: it’s playing keep-away with its characters and its lore!
 
Ler, Arsus and Ksenia advance on the giant makeshift antennae where Kuratov is trying to access to a weaponised satellite, while Khan is to arrive by air. For the most part they’re split up, though Arsus and Ksenia do work together somewhat. There’s this really dumb part where Ksenia takes a clone, turns it invisible and uses it as a shield so the other clones will shoot it instead of her, and when the clone reappears and she’s barely invisible, she runs off and the clones don’t try to shoot at her despite having a clear shot and lots of ammo.
 
During this scene, Arsus turns into a full bear and takes down the minions while running toward the heavily-armed three-legged robots, sustaining no injuries in the process. He then jumps onto one of the robots, which have been shown to be ridiculously agile, uses its guns to take down another one of these robots, and then take down that first robot by biting off its camera. It just gives up on life and falls down. Oh, and remember how he was worried about permanently becoming an animal? His brain is fully that of a bear right now yet he has full self-control. He’s not a danger to his friends. They go up in the elevator together while he’s in full Bear Mode. He’s even in half-Bear Mode in his next scene! I love it when personal conflicts are established and then thrown out the window! It’s the best! Consequences? What are those? AAAARGH!!!
 
So the three of them are walking across a ledge and the clones start shooting at them. Ler can also turn his rock-whip into a shield but he doesn’t use it until after Arsus loses his footing and nearly falls to his death! Khan swoops in to save them and…*sigh*…one of the clones does a Wilhelm scream… Just… I need a moment…
 
Why wasn’t Khan with them the whole time, by the way? With his speed he could have just ran around to that other ledge and took the shooters out.
 
So we’ve got nineteen minutes of this film to go, and this scientist that supposedly died earlier in the film but not really gives us even more exposition, this time in the form of a deus ex machina that the Guardians can use to defeat Kuratov. We’ll get to that in a minute, but I promise you it’s stupid.
 
The Guardians get to a force field generator that they have to shut down. They decide to short the circuit, but the heat from the device would melt any metal before it could do that. So, in what I can only assume was an attempt to cool the device by lowering her body temperature, Ksenia grabs onto the generator and gets a load of energy shot through her. Being able to control your body temperature doesn’t make you Iceman, lady! But somehow, this plan works! The generator shorts out, the force field goes down, and Ksenia survives!
 
At last, the final confrontation begins. The Guardians burst in on Kuratov, but Kuratov uses the Module-1 to stop Arsus’ gun and knock him unconscious with electricity. And it’s at this point I realised…what was Patriot thinking giving advanced technological super-suits to people who are going up against a man who can manipulate technology at will? They’re so screwed!
 
When Kuratov overpowers the Guardians, the heroes retreat. Larina finds them and tells them about the deus ex machina: the Guardians can transfer their power into one another, but using this ability could kill them. The team decides to go through with it and immediately get into formation. This is another problem – they know this could be the end for them, but there’s no words or emotions between the four of them incase they die. They’re supposed to be old friends, and they’ve gone through dangerous situations throughout the story, but they don’t act like friends and they don’t interact with each other in any meaningful way. There’s no character development. There’s no heart!
 
So the Guardians lay their hands on each other’s shoulders and transfer their energy into Ler, and Ler projects that energy like it was a move from Dragon Ball Z. Fine. Whatever. Movie’s over. Why use teamwork to make the most of the heroes’ individual powers when they can just blow the bad guy up?
 
In the resolution scene, Larina and the Guardians look out onto the city to have one quiet moment together. Ksenia says she’s started to recover some of her memories, but the group, including her, decides to go their separate ways. The film closes with Larina looking strait into the camera as she says, “One more thing… We’ve found other Guardians.”
 
…**** off.
 
There’s a mid-credits scene, but with its null value, no sequel on the horizon and everything I’ve had to slog through in this movie, I feel no need to dignify it.
 
This film was awful. The story is nonsensical, empty and lazy. The heroes have no personality and especially no chemistry. The closest we get is Ler talking about outliving his family, which has no bearing on anything outside of that monologue. All the Guardians talk to Larina, but they never talk to each other. The villain is the most stereotypically simplistic, boring, badly written kind of supervillain you can get. And the amount of clunky exposition in this movie is intolerable. It’s a real shame because I’m willing to believe that these actors could give decent performances, but they are given nothing to work with. Most of the visuals don’t look bad either – even though the CGI is not up to par, I’m willing to give a pass to the effects used to create Arsus' bear forms (not so much with Ksenia's special effects where she's see-through but not invisible). Audiences don’t like superheroes just for the spectacle or the fantasy of superpowers. We love superheroes because of what they represent. We love them for the development of their character and relationships. We love the drama of people trying to navigate their lives while dealing with the “terrible privilege” of the duty that is thrust upon them. It’s not enough to save the world. You need to ask, what does the hero stand to lose? Why are you trying to save the world if not for the ones you love? This isn’t only superhero stuff – these are basic writing skills, and for neglecting them, Guardians is a soulless mess of a movie.